Making holiday shopping decisions quicker and with less stress

When faced with buying shoes, some people will be done in five minutes and be totally satisfied. For others, it’ll be a multiday process of reading reviews, comparing prices, consideration, and more consideration before making a decision.

Or not.

People can want to make a choice, but fear of making a bad one or of missing a better deal that might come gets in the way. The upcoming holiday gift-buying only ups the pressure.

“Making decisions is a taxing task,” says Dr. Soo Jeong Youn, clinical psychologist at Massachusetts General Hospital and assistant professor in the department of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

We’re doing it constantly, with what to wear and eat. It can also feel agonizing, even paralyzing, because sometimes we don’t know all the information, and so the brain fills in the gaps with worst-case scenarios, which does nothing to lower the stress.

Can we get better at making decisions? The short answer is yes. It takes some organization, but also a mindset shift in which we accept that there is no ideal choice. But before that, it helps to look a little more at why decision-making can be so difficult.

Knowing what to expect

Not all decisions cause the same stress. Big ones, like changing jobs or buying a house, take consideration, which we expect. Everyday choices, like our morning coffee order or groceries, are often automatic. And usually, the prefrontal cortex is in control. That’s the part of the brain behind the forehead, handling executive functioning skills — a term, Youn says, which tries to capture the complexity behind thinking. The prefrontal cortex processes information from the entire brain and puts it together to make a choice.

It’s the midlevel decisions — the new bike, winter jacket, toaster, or shoes — that become troublesome. They’re not huge purchases, but since we don’t make them regularly, we can spend more time weighing cost versus benefit. “We haven’t engaged in the thinking process,” Youn says.

Instead of the prefrontal cortex, the limbic system takes over. It’s the fight-or-flight response part of the brain, and there’s no careful weighing of factors. The goal is simple: survival, and it can cause us to make a less-than-optimal choice just to end the decision-making process — or to avoid the situation altogether by doing nothing, she says.

That’s not necessarily our goal. We want to make a good choice, but often there’s more in play, namely expectations. It’s tied into how we get viewed and what our worth is. If it’s a present, we worry about whether it expresses our feelings appropriately. As Youn says, “That decision is not just about that decision.”

And underlying it all is the fear and regret that you picked the wrong thing.

But to that, Youn poses a question: Wrong for what?

Get your focus

Often, people go into a purchase without being clear on what they need. Is the item for warmth, durability, exercise, style? Does it have to have special features? Do you need it quickly? Establishing a scope gives us something to refer back to and ask, “Does this fit with my purpose?” Conversely, with no parameters, we spend more time and angst making decisions, and sometimes keep looking under the belief that the “perfect” thing exists.

“We want this to check off all the boxes, even though we haven’t defined what all the boxes are,” she says.

For some people, the difficulty is in making the decision, but once done, the stress is over. But for others, the worry continues: the limbic system is still activated, and that’s when regret or buyer’s remorse comes in. Youn says to treat it like that song in your head that won’t go away, and give it some attention.

Examine the worry and name it. If you’re wondering about missing out on something, ask, “Why is that important?” And then with every assumption ask, “And then what would happen?” The process might reduce the magnitude of how much something actually matters. If that doesn’t work and you’re worried that you missed out on a better deal, then do some research. Whatever the result, even if it wasn’t in your favor, take it as a lesson that you can use for the next decision.

Lean on routines

New decisions take energy. That’s why routines are helpful — they remove the uncertainty of what to do in the morning or how to get to work. When possible, Youn says, use previous knowledge instead of constantly reinventing the wheel. If you like a pair of sneakers, there’s no problem with rebuying them if your needs haven’t changed.

If they have, just re-examine the new components, not the stuff you already know. And if you feel like you’re getting stuck in the evaluation process, ask yourself, “Is this worth my time?” The question creates a pause, brings you back into the moment, and allows you to decide how you want to proceed.

More research won’t help with decision-making or decision regret

It helps to realize that when we do our research, there comes a point where we’ve seen everything. In fact, more information becomes overload. What helps is to shrink down options as soon as possible. Maybe start with 10, but quickly get to five, then three, and finally two to compare before picking the winner. What can also help is setting the timer on your phone and giving yourself a certain number of minutes to make a choice. Sometimes that self-imposed deadline can keep us on track, and we can move on to the next decision.

But there can always be a nagging feeling that there’s more to know. In reality there isn’t, and actually we can’t know everything and don’t have to know everything — and that’s all right. As Youn says, “It’s an illusion.”

Naps: Make the most of them and know when to stop them

During the first year of life, naps are crucial for babies (who simply cannot stay awake for more than a couple of hours at a time), and crucial for parents and caregivers, who need breaks from the hard work of caring for an infant.

But as children become toddlers and preschoolers, naps aren’t always straightforward. Children often fight them (following the “you snooze you lose” philosophy), and they can conflict with daily tasks (such as school pick-up when there are older siblings) or lead to late bedtimes.

Here are some tips for making naps work for you and your child — and for knowing when they aren’t needed anymore.

Making naps work for your baby

Most infants will take at least two naps during the day, and early in toddlerhood most children will still take both a morning nap and an afternoon nap. Naps are important not just for physical rest and better moods, but also for learning: sleep allows us to consolidate new information. As children get older, they usually drop one of the naps, most commonly the morning nap.

Every child is different when it comes to napping. Some need long naps, some do fine with catnaps, some will give up naps earlier than others. Even within the same family, children can be different. A big part of making naps work is listening to and learning about your child’s temperament and needs. Otherwise, you can end up fighting losing battles.

The needs of a parent or caregiver are also important: everyone needs a break. Sometimes those breaks are particularly useful at specific times of the day (like meal prep time). While you can’t always make a child be sleepy at the most convenient time for you, it’s worth a try — which leads me to the first tip:

Schedule the naps. Instead of waiting for a child to literally drop and fall asleep, have a regular naptime. We all do better when our sleep routines are regular, even adults. If you can, put the child down awake (or partially awake). Learning to fall asleep without a bottle or a breast, or without being held, is a helpful skill for children to learn and can lead to better sleep habits as they grow.

A couple of scheduling notes:

  • If you need a child to fall asleep earlier or later than they seem to do naturally, try to adjust the previous sleep time. For example, if you need an earlier morning nap, wake the child up earlier in the morning. It may not work, but it’s worth a try.
  • Naps later in the afternoon often mean that a child won’t be sleepy until later in the evening. That may not be a problem, but for parents who get tired early or need to get up early, it can be. Try to move the nap earlier, or wake the child earlier. If the problematic afternoon nap is in daycare, talk to the daycare provider about moving or shortening it.

Create a space that’s conducive to sleep. Some children can sleep anywhere and through anything, but most do best with a space that is quiet and dark. A white noise machine (or even just a fan) can also be helpful.

Don’t use screens before naptime or bedtime. The blue light emitted by computers, tablets, and phones can wake up the brain and make it harder for children to fall asleep.

When is it time to give up naps?

Most children give up naps between the ages of 3 and 5. If a child can stay up and be pleasant and engaged throughout the afternoon, they are likely ready to stop. Some crankiness in the late afternoon and early evening is okay; you can always just get them to bed earlier.

One way to figure it out, and ease the transition, is to keep having “quiet time” in the afternoon. Have the child go to bed, but don’t insist on sleep; let them look at books or play quietly. If they stay awake, that’s a sign that they are ready to stop. If they fall asleep but then end up staying up very late, that’s another sign that the afternoon nap needs to go.

Whether or not your child naps, having some quiet time without screens every afternoon is a good habit to get into. It gives your child and everyone else a chance to relax and unwind, and sets a placeholder not just for homework but also for general downtime as children grow — and just like naps for babies, downtime for big kids is crucial.

Follow me on Twitter @drClaire

Thinking of trying Dry January? Steps for success

Let’s file this under unsurprising news: many American adults report drinking more since the pandemic began in March 2020, according to a survey on alcohol use in the time of COVID-19. If you’re among them, you might want to start 2022 on a healthy note by joining the millions who abstain from alcohol during Dry January. Your heart, liver, memory, and more could be the better for it.

What did this survey find?

The researchers asked 832 individuals across the US about their alcohol intake over a typical 30-day period. Participants reported drinking alcohol on 12.2 days and consuming almost 27 alcoholic drinks during that time. More than one-third reported engaging in binge drinking (consuming five or more drinks for men and four or more drinks for women in about two hours).

Moreover, nearly two-thirds of the participants said their drinking had increased compared to their consumption rates before COVID. Their reasons? Higher stress, more alcohol availability, and boredom.

But we can’t blame COVID entirely for the recent rise in alcohol consumption. Even before the pandemic, alcohol use among older adults had been trending upward.

Why try Dry January?

If you recognize your own behavior in this survey and wish to cut down on your alcohol intake, or simply want to begin the new year with a clean slate, join in the Dry January challenge by choosing not to drink beer, wine, or spirits for one month. Dry January began in 2012 as a public health initiative from Alcohol Change UK, a British charity. Now millions take part in this health challenge every year.

While drinking a moderate amount of alcohol is associated with health benefits for some people in observational studies, heavier drinking and long-term drinking can increase physical and mental problems, especially among older adults. Heart and liver damage, a higher cancer risk, a weakened immune system, memory issues, and mood disorders are common issues.

Yet, cutting out alcohol for even a month can make a noticeable difference in your health. Regular drinkers who abstained from alcohol for 30 days slept better, had more energy, and lost weight, according to a study in BMJ Open. They also lowered their blood pressure and cholesterol levels and reduced cancer-related proteins in their blood.

Tips for a successful Dry January

A month may seem like a long time, but most people can be successful. Still, you may need assistance to stay dry in January. Here are some tips:

  • Find a substitute non-alcoholic drink. For social situations, or when you crave a cocktail after a long day, reach for alcohol-free beverages like sparkling water, soda, or virgin beverages (non-alcoholic versions of alcoholic drinks.)

    Non-alcoholic beer or wine also is an option, but some brands still contain up to 0.5% alcohol by volume, so check the label. "Sugar is often added to these beverages to improve the taste, so try to choose ones that are low in sugar," says Dawn Sugarman, a research psychologist at Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital in the division of alcohol, drugs, and addiction.

  • Avoid temptations. Keep alcohol out of your house. When you are invited to someone’s home, bring your non-alcoholic drinks with you.
  • Create a support group. Let friends and family know about your intentions and encourage them to keep you accountable. Better yet, enlist someone to do the challenge with you.
  • Use the Try Dry app. This free app helps you track your drinking, set personal goals, and offers motivational information like calories and money saved from not drinking. It’s aimed at cutting back on or cutting out alcohol, depending on your choices.
  • Don’t give up. If you slip up, don't feel guilty. Just begin again the next day.

Check your feelings

Sugarman recommends people also use Dry January to reflect on their drinking habits. It’s common for people to lose their alcohol cravings and realize drinking need not occupy such an ample space in their lives. If this is you, consider continuing for another 30 days, or just embrace your new attitude toward drinking where it’s an occasional indulgence.

If you struggle during the month, or give up after a week or so, you may need extra help cutting back. An excellent resource is the Rethinking Drinking site created by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). For the record, NIAAA recommends limiting alcohol to two daily drinks or less for men and no more than one drink a day for women.

Be aware of problems that might crop up

Dry January can reveal potential alcohol problems, including symptoms of alcohol withdrawal ranging from mild to serious, depending on how much you usually drink. Mild symptoms include anxiety, shaky hands, headache, nausea, vomiting, sweating, and insomnia. Severe symptoms often kick in within two or three days after you stop drinking. They can include hallucinations, delirium, racing heart rate, and fever. "If you suffer alcohol withdrawal symptoms at any time, you should seek immediate medical help," says Sugarman.

Exercise, metabolism, and weight: New research from The Biggest Loser

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The Biggest Loser was a popular reality television show that ran on NBC for over a decade starting in 2004. In it, participants with obesity competed with each other through intense physical challenges and ate a reduced-calorie diet to see who could lose the highest percentage of body weight.

Prior findings from studies of The Biggest Loser contestants showed not only that metabolism slows drastically following significant weight loss, but also that regaining the lost weight does not restore metabolism back to its pre-weight loss levels. This means people who have lost large amounts of weight must adhere to an extremely low-calorie intake in order to maintain that weight loss. One show contestant lost 239 pounds and achieved a weight of 191 pounds, yet six years later, after regaining 100 pounds of that lost weight, had to consume an 800-calorie-per-day diet to maintain his weight.

New research about physical activity and metabolic rate

A more recent study by the same researcher aims to explain and interpret the findings from The Biggest Loser in light of an energy conservation model. In what he calls the "constrained model of human energy expenditure," Dr. Kevin Hall theorizes that because the contestants engaged in large, sustained periods of intense physical activity, their metabolisms slowed substantially in order to reduce their metabolic rates and thereby minimize changes in total energy expenditure. In other words, their bodies made automatic compensatory changes to maintain energy balance.

Of particular interest is the fact that at the end of The Biggest Loser competition, the degree of metabolism reduction was not related to contestants’ subsequent weight regain, and in fact, the contestants that maintained the greatest weight loss six years after the competition actually had the greatest amount of metabolism adaptation. This suggests that metabolic adaptation is a response to the change in lifestyle, namely the dramatic increase in physical activity observed in those who maintained the most weight loss. Fortunately for those trying to maintain significant weight loss, the compensatory mechanisms do not completely counteract lifestyle changes, so it is possible to keep off substantial amounts of weight.

What have we learned about weight loss from studying The Biggest Loser contestants?

Taken together, what we’ve learned from these studies on The Biggest Loser contestants is that while short-term reductions in resting metabolic rate are related to the extreme calorie restriction at the time of active weight loss, the larger, persistent metabolic adaptation that takes place later is related to substantial sustained increases in physical activity.

Results from the National Weight Control Registry (established in 1993 to determine characteristics of individuals successful at keeping weight off) have long demonstrated that physical activity is a key component of successful weight maintenance. What we don’t yet know is how sustained increases in physical activity lead to improved maintenance of lost weight, despite the compensatory long-term reduction in resting metabolic rate. Dr. Hall theorizes this could potentially be because of the effect of physical activity on lowering appetite.

But as is always the case, additional studies are needed to fully clarify the relationship between body composition, physical activity, energy regulation, and weight maintenance. In the meantime, we should continue to follow the well-founded advice to eat healthy whole foods in moderation, avoid processed foods, and engage in regular physical activity to maintain a healthy body weight.

Why are women more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease?

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Did you know that of the 6.2 million people with Alzheimer’s disease who are age 65 or older in this country, almost two-thirds are women? This means that Alzheimer’s disease is almost twice as common in women compared to men. Why is Alzheimer’s disease more common in women?

Women live longer

The first and most important reason is that women tend to live longer than men. If you look at actuarial life tables, you can see that a baby girl born in 2019 is likely to live five years longer than a baby boy: 81 versus 76 years.

The greatest risk factor for Alzheimer’s disease is age: the older you are, the more likely you are to develop Alzheimer’s disease. For example, out of 1,000 people, the incidence (the number who develop Alzheimer’s each year) depends on age:

  • 4 out of 1,000 people ages 65 to 74 develop Alzheimer’s each year
  • 32 out of 1,000 people ages 75 to 84 develop Alzheimer’s each year
  • 76 out of 1,000 people ages 85 and older develop Alzheimer’s each year.

So, one reason that there are more women with Alzheimer’s disease than men is simply that there are more older women than older men living in our society — 5.7 million more of them — and the older you are, the more likely you are to develop Alzheimer’s disease.

But that’s not the whole answer.

The incidence of Alzheimer’s is greater in women

Your chances of developing Alzheimer’s disease late in life are somewhat greater if you are a woman than a man. One study followed 16,926 people in Sweden and found that, beginning around age 80, women were more likely to be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease than men of the same age. Similarly, a study based in Taiwan found that one’s chances of developing Alzheimer’s disease over seven years was greater in women compared to men. And a meta-analysis examining the incidence of Alzheimer’s disease in Europe found that approximately 13 women out of 1,000 developed Alzheimer’s each year, compared to only seven men.

So, women living longer than men cannot be the whole answer as to why women are more likely than men to develop Alzheimer’s disease, because even among individuals who are living and the same age, women are more likely to be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s than men.

The incidence of non-Alzheimer’s dementia is not greater in women

One clue to the answer to this puzzle is that your chances of developing dementia from a cause other than Alzheimer’s disease is not greater if you are a woman. For example, the study examining dementia rates in Sweden found that both women and men were equally likely to develop a non-Alzheimer’s dementia as they aged. That rates of Alzheimer’s disease differ by gender, whereas rates of non-Alzheimer’s dementias do not, suggests that there must be a specific interaction between Alzheimer’s disease and gender.

Amyloid deposition in Alzheimer’s may be fighting infections

Another clue to this puzzle comes from the work of Harvard researchers, who have suggested that amyloid, one component of Alzheimer’s disease pathology, may be deposited in order to fight off infections in the brain. If their suggestion turns out to be correct, we might think of Alzheimer’s disease as a byproduct of our brain’s immune system.

Autoimmune disorders are more common in women

The last piece of the puzzle is that women are about twice as likely to have an autoimmune disease compared to men. The reason for this difference is not entirely clear, but it is clear that the immune system is generally stronger in women than men, and many autoimmune diseases are more common during pregnancy. It may be that women’s stronger immune system developed through evolution to protect the fetus from infections. So, as part of their stronger immune systems, women may end up having more amyloid plaques than men.

Putting the pieces together

By combining all of this information, one possible explanation as to why women’s risk of Alzheimer’s disease is greater than men’s — in addition to women living longer — is:

  • The amyloid plaques that cause Alzheimer’s disease may be part of the brain’s immune system to fight against infections.
  • Women have stronger immune systems than men.
  • As part of their stronger immune systems, women may end up having more amyloid plaques than men.
  • Because they may have more amyloid plaques than men, this theory may explain why women end up having a greater risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease.

Please note the italicized words "may" that I have used. Although the ideas I have presented here are logical, coherent, and form the basis of a good theory, they have not yet been proven to be correct. More research is needed!

The bottom line

You are more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease over your lifetime if you are a woman, because women live longer than men and, possibly, because women have stronger immune systems compared to men.

Does that mean that if you’re a woman, you’re more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease and there’s nothing you can do about it? Not at all! You can do many things to reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s today.

  • Engage in aerobic exercise such as brisk walking, jogging, biking, swimming, or aerobic classes at least 30 minutes per day, five days per week.
  • Eat a Mediterranean menu of foods including fish, olive oil, avocados, fruits, vegetables, nuts, beans, whole grains, and poultry. Eat other foods sparingly.
  • Sleep well — and clean those Alzheimer’s plaques out of your brain.
  • Participate in social activities and novel, cognitively stimulating activities.

Stretching studios: Do you need what they offer?

Trainer assisting older woman in a stretch

Boutique or specialty fitness studios offer all sorts of ways to exercise, such as strength training, indoor cycling, and kickboxing. Other popular options, like yoga and Pilates, are less likely to leave you sweaty and breathless, emphasizing flexibility and measured movement. Now a new trend has emerged: studios that focus solely on stretching. What are these studios offering, and will you benefit from this focus?

What are stretch studios offering?

These studios, which include StretchLab, StretchMed, LYMBYR, and others, provide assisted stretching sessions, either one-on-one or in small groups. The promised benefits range from reasonable goals of increasing flexibility and range of motion to more questionable assertions, such as preventing injuries and eliminating chronic pain.

“If you participate in certain sports that require flexibility, like dance or gymnastics, stretching may be important to maintain range of motion,” says Dr. Adam Tenforde, associate professor of physical medicine and rehabilitation at Harvard Medical School, and sports medicine physician at Spaulding Rehabilitation and Mass General Brigham.

But if your focus is on improving your overall health, the evidence to support stretching is sorely lacking — especially compared with the wealth of evidence supporting the benefits of regular, moderate physical activity.

“Contrary to popular belief, there’s no consistent evidence that stretching helps prevent injuries,” says Dr. Tenforde. And if you have an existing injury, such as a muscle or joint sprain, aggressively stretching that tissue could actually make the injury worse, he adds.

The “stretch therapists” and “flexologists” at stretching studios may have certain certifications and training, but they’re probably not qualified to recognize and address health-related causes for pain or stiffness. If you have a previous or current musculoskeletal injury, you’re much better off going to a physical therapist who has the expertise and training to treat you correctly.

Feeling tight and stiff?

If you’re free from injuries but just feel tight and stiff, try a yoga class, which can provide added benefits like improving your balance and helping you relax and de-stress. Or consider tai chi, a gentle, meditative form of exercise that can help lower blood pressure and enhance balance. Another option is to get a massage.

If you decide to try assisted stretching offered at a studio, listen to your body, and make sure you communicate how you’re feeling with the therapist working on you, Dr. Tenforde advises.

But you’ll probably do more for your overall health by spending that time taking a brisk walk or some other type of exercise instead, he says. Most Americans don’t meet the federal recommended guidelines for physical activity, which call for 150 minutes per week of moderate-intensity exercise and muscle-strengthening activities twice weekly. “As doctors, we’re dealing more with diseases related to inactivity, not diseases of inflexibility, says Dr. Tenforde.

Want to do your stretching at home?

Three easy morning exercises — an A-B-C routine of arm sweeps, back bend, and chair pose — can help ease morning stiffness. This also works well during the day if you spend too much time sitting.

Stretching at home could save you money and time. These tips can help you get the most out of at-home morning stretches or other flexibility routines.

  • Warm up muscles first. Much like taffy, muscles stretch more easily when warm.
  • Feel no pain. Stretch only to the point of mild tension, never to the point of pain.
  • Pay attention to posture and good form. Posture counts whether you’re sitting, standing, or moving. Photos of stretches tell only part of the story, so read instructions carefully to get form right.
  • Focus on the muscle being stretched. One side of your body often is tighter than the other. Work on balancing this over time.
  • Breathe. Breathe comfortably while stretching rather than holding your breath.
  • Practice often. You’ll make the best flexibility gains if you stretch frequently — daily, or on as many days of the week as possible. At the very least, try to do stretches two or three times a week.

Waiting for motivation to strike? Try rethinking that

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All of us know that motivation is a key ingredient to accomplishing goals in our personal and professional lives. But if you wait for motivation to strike like a sudden lightning storm, you’re a lot less likely to take a single step toward any goal. Even if you have a much-desired goal in mind, it’s all too easy to deplete motivation through feeling overwhelmed, procrastination, or impatience. The steps below can help you increase your motivation to accomplish the goals that matter to you.

The meaning of your goal

Before setting a goal, it is critical to clearly identify meaning — that is, why is successfully reaching this goal important to you? What will this achievement mean to you? For example, telling yourself “I want to lose 10 pounds so I have more energy to play with my grandchildren” conveys far more meaning than “I want to lose weight.” Or maybe your goal is to paint a room a different color because you feel that color will bring more joy into your life. That’s very different than setting a goal of “paint room.”

If you set a goal and find yourself procrastinating or not achieving it, revisit the meaning of the goal you have set. Is this a goal that continues to matter to you? If so, consider the meaning behind the procrastination or the difficulties that you are experiencing.

Operationalize your goal

Write out a detailed plan to achieve the goal. Use the SMART acronym to guide this plan:

  • Specific (What exactly do you want to accomplish?)
  • Measurable (How will you know when you have succeeded?)
  • Achievable (Is the goal you have set possible?)
  • Realistic (Does setting this goal make sense for you right now?)
  • Time-bound (What is the specific time frame to accomplish this goal?)

For example, a goal of “exercise more” is too vague, and will not set you up for success. Instead, set a goal of walking 50 steps in the next hour, or taking a 15-minute walk Wednesday morning. This goal is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound.

Set up a to-do list — and tick it off

Once you identify a specific goal, make a to-do list to accomplish it.

  • What resources do you need?
  • What are the steps you’ll take toward your goal? Break down tasks into manageable mini-tasks and write each one down.
  • Set deadlines for each task. Make a schedule to accomplish these tasks, being sure to include regular breaks and realistic time frames.
  • Cross off each mini-task as you complete it. Step by step, you’ll see you’re making progress toward your goals.

If you are having difficulty breaking down your goal into smaller tasks, just begin working toward it. For example, if you set a goal of increasing the number of steps you walk each day, but have difficulty identifying the ideal number of steps as a goal, just start walking. You can figure out that ideal number later.

Include others

Invite a team to help you with your goal. You could join a running club, or ask family and friends to check on your progress in achieving tasks related to your overall goal. Perhaps friends can send email or text message reminders to keep you accountable. Finally, surround yourself by other people who are actively working on their own goals. Their efforts may inspire you, too.

Visualize success

Create an image of yourself achieving this goal. This image could be in your mind, or perhaps you could draw a picture of yourself achieving your goal. Imagine what achieving this goal will mean for you. How will you experience the success? How will it feel for you? Remember these positive emotions as you are completing the tasks on your to-do list to help fuel motivation.

Avoid distractions

Try to choose a space that is organized, free of clutter, and with minimal distractions. Focus on one task at a time, not multitasking. Close email and place your phone on silent. Avoid social media sites that make goals seem very easy to attain.

Track progress and time spent

Decide how often you’ll track progress toward your overall goal through your to-do list. Are you meeting the timeline you initially established? If not, identify stumbling blocks. Revisit the importance and meaning of this goal and how you initially set up your SMART model. If necessary, reconsider challenging aspects of your goal and make changes in your plan.

Think creatively about how to expand available time to work on your goal. Can you make certain tasks more routine in your life? Can you link unenjoyable tasks with more pleasurable activities? For example, if you dread your goal of taking 100 additional steps each day, could you listen to music or a podcast that you enjoy while you are taking these steps?

Embrace empathy

Be kind to yourself when tracking progress toward achieving your goal. Practice self-compassion on occasions when you fall short. Build small rewards into the process, and consider how to celebrate all your accomplishments.

Gift giving for family or friends in assisted living

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Have family or friends in assisted living facilities? Finding the right gift can be complicated. Health issues may rule out some gifts: cross off sweets or chocolates for those who need to keep blood sugar under control. There isn’t much space for extra belongings in the apartment or room. In some cases, your giftee’s physical or mental capabilities (or both) are declining.

"Any gift you give will probably be appreciated," says Dr. Suzanne Salamon, associate chief of gerontology at Harvard-affiliated Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. "But it helps if it’s something the person can really use and will enjoy. Tailor it to their particular ailments, needs, and interests." Below is a roundup that can help you select a great gift for the holidays — or any other occasion.

Gifts for social engagement

"Many people feel lonely and isolated in assisted living facilities. Keeping loved ones socially connected combats that, and also helps ward off chronic disease and cognitive decline," Salamon notes. Gifts that may fit the bill include:

  • A simple phone. The easier a phone is to operate, the more likely your loved one will be able to use it. That could be a landline phone with large, easy-to-read numbers ($25 and up), a flip phone ($35 and up), or a smartphone with few buttons and apps ($50 and up). Remember that cell phones come with monthly service costs; prices depend on the carrier.
  • A smart speaker. If phone use is too hard for your loved one, consider a smart speaker ($20 and up) that can be programmed to dial important numbers (like yours). Commands can be said aloud at any time to make a call. Check if your loved has internet service, which is needed for smart speaker use.
  • A photo book. A loose-leaf photo album (less than $20) or easily created photo book ($10 and more) with recent photos of family and friends may be a warm reminder of connections, or can be a gift to share with others in the assisted living facility. That social interaction is important for health. Plus, it will make the person feel good to see all of those photos of people who love them.

Gifts to aid independence

Health problems can make simple activities challenging. These gifts can give your loved one a little independence.

  • Adaptive tools. Your loved one may be able to take back some control of dressing with a long-handled shoehorn, a button hook, or a zipper pull (less than $10 each).
  • A magnifying glass. Especially handy for those with impaired vision (and who hasn’t misplaced reading glasses?), having a magnifying glass ($5 and up) is handy for reading or seeing small objects. For a nice upgrade, make it a lighted magnifying glass ($15).
  • Handwriting aids. Hand arthritis or neurodegenerative conditions (such as Parkinson’s disease) make writing difficult. Ergonomically-shaped adaptive pens ($10 and up) can help your loved one jot down information or thoughts.

Gifts for sharper thinking skills

"Challenging your brain or learning new information promotes new brain cell connections, which help protect and maintain cognition," Dr. Salamon says. Give your loved one something that will make the process easy and fun, such as the following:

  • A daily trivia calendar. (About $15)
  • Large-print nonfiction or fiction books. ($5 and up). Audio selections are enjoyable, too.
  • Large-print books of brain games and puzzles. ($5 and up)
  • A print subscription to a health publication, such as the Harvard Health Letter ($24).

Gifts to ease health issues

A well-chosen gift can bring comfort and help ease health issues. Try addressing someone’s aches and pains with gifts such as:

  • A microwavable heat wrap ($15 and up).
  • A handheld massager ($5 and up).

Or you could address circulatory problems that make people feel cold or increase the risk for blood clots in the legs. Ideas include:

  • A soft fleece blanket ($10 and up).
  • Warm slippers with slip-resistant soles ($20 and up).
  • Brightly patterned compression stockings with fun designs ($15 and up). Be sure to check the size so they aren’t too small for your loved one.

Gifts to track health

Even though assisted living facility staffers monitor residents’ health, your loved one may find it useful to have one of the following gifts:

  • A blood pressure monitor ($30 and up). Look for one with a cuff that goes around the upper arm; inflates automatically; has a lighted background with large numbers; and is certified by the Association for the Advancement of Medical Instrumentation, the British Hypertension Society, or the European Society of Hypertension.
  • A digital "stick" thermometer ($10 and up). The right one will be large and easy to hold, with a lighted background and large numbers.

Not quite right?

Keep thinking. A nice, warm fleece sweater ($20 and up)? Extra reading glasses to place in favorite nooks ($15 and up)? If none of these ideas is right, consider giving a healthy treat. A great choice right now is fresh citrus (send a box for $30 and up). "Avoid grapefruit, which can interfere with certain medications," Dr. Salamon advises, "but oranges or tangerines are sweet and rich in vitamin C, which supports a healthy immune system. And that’s a great gift."

Navigating a chronic illness during the holidays

As a doctor, I am constantly advising my patients to prioritize their own mental and physical health. Get adequate sleep. Eat healthy. Learn how to say no so you don’t collapse from exhaustion. Love and care for yourself like you do others.

I talk the talk but don’t always walk the walk — even though I know, both intellectually and physically, that self-care is critical to my well-being. When I am run down, my MS symptoms cry out for attention: left leg weakness and numbness, subtle vertigo, a distinct buzzing in my brain like a relentless mosquito that won’t go away no matter how many times I twitch and shake my head. I have become frighteningly good at ignoring these symptoms, boxing them up and pushing them away. Often, I can muscle through; other times it just hurts.

Recently, a friend challenged me to think about my relationship with my illness, to describe MS as a character in my story. This was a useful exercise. I conjured up an image of a stern teacher. She is frighteningly blunt and lets me know, loud and clear, when I disappoint her. She can be mean and scary, and I don’t really like her. But I must admit she is usually right. Still, I often defiantly dismiss her, even when part of me knows this is not in my best interest.

This holiday season, I wanted to do better. I needed to do better. So, as Thanksgiving approached, as I prepared to host 16 family members, many for multiple days, I paused to ask myself, What does MS have to teach me about self-care? I don’t like having this disease, but I do. I can’t change my reality, so I might as well benefit from the lessons MS is forcing on me. I believe they are relevant to all of us, whether we live with chronic illness or not, so I’ll share them here.

The first steps: Listen and observe

When my MS symptoms flare, it’s a message that I am tired, overextended, and stressed. I need to rest. I don’t always listen right away, but eventually I am forced to, and when I listen, I feel better. All of us can benefit from slowing down and tuning in to our physical selves. What sensations are you experiencing in your body, and what does this tell you about your underlying feelings and state of mind? Yes, we should heed our thoughts, but tuning in to our bodies takes us deeper, to feelings that might be hidden, secrets we might not want to acknowledge, a physical truth. If you don’t have a chronic illness, the messages might be more subtle — a vague tightness in your chest, a quick catch in your breath, a barely noticeable tremor in your hands — but they exist, and they signal stress.

The science is clear: the body’s stress response — though potentially lifesaving in a true emergency, when “fight or flight” is essential to survival — can be toxic in our everyday lives. Stress triggers our sympathetic nervous system to kick into overdrive in response to a perceived threat, releasing hormones such as cortisol and inflammatory molecules that, when produced in excess, fuel disease. Conversely, we know that pausing to take notice and interrupting this negative cycle of stress is beneficial. It can be as simple as breathing deeply and counting to 10. Our bodies know what’s up and let us know when we need to take care of ourselves. We must pay attention.

You are not responsible for everyone and everything

The holidays, essentially from mid-November through the end of the year, are a stress test we create for ourselves. The land mines are everywhere: more food, more drinking, more family dynamics, more unfamiliar (or overly familiar) surroundings. Personally, with my overinflated sense of responsibility, I experience a kind of dizzying performance anxiety every holiday season. I believe it is my job to make sure everyone present has a positive experience. For better or worse, I am someone who notices and feels the personal and interpersonal dynamics in a room. I sense and absorb even the most subtle discomfort, frustration, anger, shame, and insecurity, alongside the more upbeat emotions. Importantly, I also I feel the need to step in and make things better, to prop everyone up. It’s exhausting. But MS reminds me of how absurd, and even egotistical, this is. In truth, I can’t possibly care for everyone. Neither can you.

It helps to check our automatic thoughts. More than once on Thanksgiving Day, as the busy kitchen buzzed with activity and conversation, I intentionally stepped back and watched, reminding myself that I didn’t have to hold the whole thing up. Even though I inevitably slipped back into hyper-responsibility mode, these moments of self-awareness impacted my behavior and the dynamic in the room.

It’s okay to say what you need

To take full responsibility for my own well-being, I need to speak honestly and act with integrity. This means asking for what I need, clearly and without apology. Historically, I have been terrible at this in my personal life, burying my own needs in the name of taking care of everyone else’s, even rejecting clear offers of help. “I’m good, I’ve got it,” I might say, while simultaneously feeling bitter and resentful for having to do it all myself. This lack of clarity isn’t fair to anyone. MS reminds me that I need to do better.

This year, when my guests asked me what they could bring, I took them at their word and made specific requests instead of assuring everyone that I had it covered. When my mother started banging around in the kitchen at 7 a.m. with her endearing but chaotic energy, asking for this and that pot and kitchen utensil so she could start cooking, I told her I needed to sit down and have a cup of coffee first. She would need to wait or find things herself. She was okay with that. Family dynamics can be entrenched and hard to change, but clear communication can set new ways of being into motion, one baby step at a time.

I still have a lot to learn, but I am making stuttering progress, learning to listen to my body and honor my needs while also caring for those I love, or at least trying. Undeniably, I experienced some post-Thanksgiving fatigue, exacerbated by my daughter’s early-morning hockey game the next day, requiring a 4:30 a.m. departure. I felt it in my body — the familiar leg weakness, vertigo, and brain cobwebs — and, completely uncharacteristically, I took a nap.

5 numbers linked to ideal heart health

How well are you protecting yourself against heart disease, the nation’s leading cause of death? A check of five important numbers can give you a good idea.

“For my patients, I typically look at their blood pressure, blood sugar, LDL cholesterol and triglycerides values, and their waist circumference,” says Harvard Heart Letter editor-in-chief Dr. Deepak L. Bhatt, who directs interventional cardiovascular programs at Harvard-affiliated Brigham and Women’s Hospital. Those values provide a picture of a person’s overall health and, more specifically, what factors they may need to address to lower their chance of a heart attack or stroke, he says.

Below are the ideal values for each measurement, along with why they’re important and targeted advice for improving them. Universal suggestions for improving all five measurements appear at the very end.

How do your heart health numbers stack up?

While the ideal values are good goals for most people, your doctor may recommend different targets based on your age or other health conditions.

Blood pressure

Less than 120/80 mm Hg

Blood pressure readings tell you the force of blood pushing against your arteries when your heart contracts (systolic blood pressure, the first number) and relaxes (diastolic blood pressure, the second number). Your blood pressure reflects how hard your heart is working (when you’re resting or exercising, for example) and the condition of your blood vessels. Narrowed, inflexible arteries cause blood pressure to rise.

Why it matters to heart health: High blood pressure accelerates damage to blood vessels, encouraging a buildup of fatty plaque (atherosclerosis). This sets the stage for a heart attack. High blood pressure forces the heart’s main pumping chamber to enlarge, which can lead to heart failure. Finally, high blood pressure raises the risk of strokes due to a blocked or burst blood vessel in the brain.

What helps: A diet rich in potassium (found in many vegetables, fruits, and beans) and low in sodium (found in excess in many processed and restaurant foods); minimizing alcohol.

LDL cholesterol

Less than 100 mg/dL

A cholesterol test (or lipid profile) shows many numbers. Doctors are usually most concerned about low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol, particles that makes up about two-thirds of the cholesterol in the blood.

Why it matters to heart health: Excess LDL particles lodge inside artery walls. Once there, they are engulfed by white blood cells, forming fat-laden foam cells that make up atherosclerosis.

What helps: Limiting saturated fat (found in meat, dairy, and eggs) and replacing those lost calories with unsaturated fat (found in nuts, seeds, and vegetable oils).

Triglycerides

Less than 150 mg/dL

Perhaps less well-known than cholesterol, triglycerides are the most common form of fat in the bloodstream. Derived from food, these molecules provide energy for your body. But excess calories, alcohol, and sugar the body can’t use are turned into triglycerides and stored in fat cells.

Why it matters to heart health: Like high LDL cholesterol, elevated triglyceride values have been linked to a higher risk of heart attack and stroke.

What helps: Limiting foods that are high in unhealthy fats, sugar, or both; eating foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids (such as fish); avoiding alcohol.

Blood sugar

Less than 100 mg/dL

High blood sugar defines the diagnosis of diabetes. Type 2 diabetes is most common. It occurs when the body develops insulin resistance (insulin enables cells to take in sugar) and does not produce enough insulin to overcome the resistance.

Why it matters to heart health: High blood sugar levels damage blood vessel walls and cause sugar (glucose) to attach to LDL. This makes LDL more likely to oxidize — another factor that promotes atherosclerosis. Excess sugar in the blood also makes cell fragments called platelets stickier so they’re more likely to form clots, which can trigger a heart attack or stroke.

What helps: Avoiding sugary beverages and foods high in sugar; eating whole, unprocessed grains instead of foods made with refined grains (white flour, white rice).

Waist circumference

Whichever number is lower:

Less than half your height in inches

OR

Women: Less than 35 inches

Men: Less than 40 inches

Measure your waist around your bare abdomen just above your navel (belly button). A big belly — what doctors call abdominal or visceral obesity — usually means fat surrounding internal organs.

Why it matters to heart health: Visceral fat secretes hormones and other factors that encourage inflammation, which triggers the release of white blood cells involved in atherosclerosis.

What helps: Consuming fewer calories, especially those from highly processed foods full of sugar, salt, and unhealthy types of fat.

Universal advice to improve all five measures of heart health

If one or more of your numbers is above ideal levels, you’re far from alone. Most Americans are overweight or obese and have bigger-than-healthy bellies. Excess weight and waist circumference affect blood pressure, LDL cholesterol, triglycerides, and blood sugar. Eating a healthy, plant-based diet can help. Regular exercise also helps: aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise like brisk walking most days. Other lifestyle habits that can lower your heart disease risk include getting seven to eight hours of sleep nightly and managing your stress level.